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<title>We Can Sleep When We're Dead by BexYZ</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29174856">We Can Sleep When We're Dead</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BexYZ/pseuds/BexYZ'>BexYZ</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Community (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Study, Gen, Insomnia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:22:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>866</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29174856</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BexYZ/pseuds/BexYZ</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Abed can't sleep. That's about it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>We Can Sleep When We're Dead</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Abed thought that these kind of nights were the worst.</p><p>Well, not the worst exactly. That distinction would fall to those terror-inducing nights when your anxieties reigned supreme and you suddenly remembered every wrong thing you'd ever said or done or thought about doing. The nights you replay every interaction you had with another person to see if there were any social cues you missed. Or invented. Or ignored.</p><p>The nights when you filled your calendar up with reminders just to ease the worry that you will forget that awesome idea or forget that thing you were supposed to do or forget to go to work the exact same way you do every day or something. You've forgotten how to sleep so it's not that difficult to imagine.</p><p>The nights when sleep would only bring nightmares anyway, so maybe it was a good thing it was so elusive. No need for your subconscious to invent new demons when your conscious mind can handle that quite well, thanks.</p><p>No, these kind of nights weren't the worst, but they were the most frustrating. These were the nights when Abed's eyes felt itchy and his throat was dry and his body was aching for rest, but his brain didn't agree. There wasn't anything wrong. He wasn't concerned or nervous or angry. His brain's off button was just stuck and he was left exhausted with no hope for relief.</p><p>Troy didn't understand when he tried to explain that "tired" and "sleepy" were different. Sleepy meant you were in that fuzzy, snuggly stage where sleep would come as long as your eyes were closed and nobody started a rave in the living room. Tired meant your body didn't want to keep working or your brain was full or you couldn't interact with people until you got a chance to reboot. But that didn't guarantee sleep. Tired meant laying down for a few hours with your eyes open or not talking because communicating was overwhelming. Not sleep.</p><p>Troy tried to help. He would encourage healthy sleep habits. Avoid blue light after 9:00pm. Don't eat too heavy too late at night. Don't give up and hop on your phone if you wake up in the middle of the night. Just try.</p><p>If trying were raindrops he'd go build an ark.</p><p>Sometimes he did toss and turn and try new positions. Back, side, covers up to his chin, one foot uncovered, other side, snuggled against Troy, as far to the other edge as he could go. He would lay on his stomach even though he'd never slept that way in his life just to give his muscles something else to do.</p><p>Sometimes he would pull the covers up high to block the glow of his phone so he didn't bother Troy. He felt like a little kid hiding a flashlight under their blanket. He knew Troy hated waking up to an empty bed so he tried to stay.</p><p>But other times, like tonight, he just had to get up. The bed was his prison and he had to make a escape. He stood up and felt his joints crack in a satisfying manner far beyond his years. He crept down the hallway taking an extra long step near the kitchen door to skip over the creaky floorboard. He would turn the TV on, put it one notch below audible volume, and watch all the movies Troy hated with the captions on. He would write or scroll or think. But he wouldn't sleep.</p><p>These nights were usually the second or third in a run of bad nights. The first night was almost welcome. Days never had enough hours in them to get everything accomplished and still have time alone to recharge his introverted batteries. Troy spent much of his day working alone on AC repairs and craved social stimulation the second they were both home. Abed was more than happy to provide this for his extroverted partner, but after a day surrounded by cast and crew, the extra effort was occasionally close to his limit. Around the fourth or fifth day, he could reach a dreamless sleep because his body and mind were literally in survival mode and he didn't need any more reasons to hallucinate.</p><p>But those middle nights of restless insomnia. He had almost convinced himself that it was nothing coffee couldn't fix. With an extra shot of espresso. Maybe two. </p><p>He sometimes wondered if it was a coping mechanism for his perfectionism. <em> It doesn't have to be perfect today - I only got two hours of sleep. </em> He didn't use that excuse with others because he didn't want their concern or pity, but he surely used it with himself.</p><p>But that's okay. Only one more hour until his first alarm went off. Two more hours until sunrise. He could take his time getting ready and eating breakfast and prepping for the day. He could sneak back into bed for a possible thirty minutes of shut-eye, allowing Troy to wake up thinking that tonight had been a good night and he'd finally gotten a reprieve.</p><p>It's all okay. There will be plenty of time for rest later. He can sleep when he's dead.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Am I projecting? Oh, 1000% yes. Did I start this at 4:17am? Also, yes.</p><p>Comments/conversation always welcome! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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